I have had it on my heart for some time now to start this blog, but never sat down to make it a reality. I am the type of person who has to have a clear picture in my mind of the finished product before I will even start. The purpose of this blog? To express to myself, and whoever else may be reading, my thoughts on motherhood, most noteably to 2 special needs little boys.
I am the proud mother of 3 absolutely beautiful children. Tony is my oldest and he is 4, almost 5. He has Cerebral Palsy. I also have twins that just turned 1, James and Jeanie. James has Duchenne's Muscular Dystrophy. Jeanie is typical.
Where do I start?
GOD
I believe in a merciful, loving God. I trust that God loves me beyond my earthly comprehension. I have unwavering faith in God's word, the Bible. It is through these pages and versus that I learn just how much God loves me. It is from this perspective that I will share my thoughts.
You always hear people say that God never gives us more than we can handle. In this process God also reveals that we are much stronger than we ever thought. Did I ever picture myself with 2 special needs children? Do any of us? Simply, no.
I know that God has a plan for my life, and for Tony, James, and Jeanie. Who am I to question God's plan for us? I have never looked at my circumstance and cried out, "Why, God, why?" There has never seemed to be a need for this. If I love God, and trust Him with every detail of my life, why would I question this part? Would I have chosen this path for myself? I really can't answer that question. Would I change a moment of my life with these children or change who they are? Not a chance!!!!!!! Being their mommy has drawn me closer to God than I have ever been. I have really had to lean on Him, and trust Him in ways I never could have imagined.
I think about the future and wonder what it will hold for my children...
~Will Tony ever talk? Will I ever hear him say "I love you, mommy"?
~What type of life will James have? How long will he walk? How long will I have him with me on this earth?
~Will Jeanie ever understand why God has chosen this path for her brothers, and find her own path to make a difference in this world?
Obviously, I have no way of knowing the answers to these questions. But I do know that God does. And when He is ready to reveal an answer to me, I will be ready. I trust Him.
2 comments:
Awesome, awesome, Mardee! Thank you for sharing...I know God will use the thoughts of you heart in a way that He has determined long ago to use you!
I LOVE that profile pic...the kids look adorable and so happy. What proof of a loving God that shines through on all 3 kids' faces!
Yea! Mardee, the blogging world will be so blessed by your heart and your words. I can envision the tremendous encouragement you will be for so many. The Lord has great plans through this, I just know it. Have fun with this, and don't worry if you can't get to it as often as you like, God will direct. I'm secretly SO excited to keep in touch this way. See you tomorrow!
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