Beautiful day......at what cost?

My son James has Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. It is an ugly, ugly disease that weakens the muscles in his body over time. It will change his body, change his future, and it changes the way I look at him. This hit me hard the other day.......

James and Jeanie were at the playground having a great time. James was in a terrific mood! He was climbing, swinging, going down the slide, and trying so hard to keep up with Jeanie. There was one "climbing thing" that he was determined to conquer. With mommy's help he climbed up this wall 5 or 6 times. He was so proud of himself, and I was enjoying watching him have fun.

After several trips up the wall I could tell he was tiring. At this moment the way I was looking at him changed. Instead of simply seeing my beautiful little boy, I was looking at a little boy with Duchenne. As I watched him play, I wondered what these 15 minutes of fun were going to cost him. For a few moments I didn't see him playing, I just saw the working and straining of his muscles.

And again a few days later. The whole family went to the park to play and have a picnic. We went for a walk in the woods and daddy Tony and I had to carry James part of the way. When he was in our arms we could tell he was worn out. As we walked I craddled him, thinking he would wiggle in protest. Instead he closed his eyes and let me carry him like this for a few minutes. As much as I loved holding him close, again, Duchenne crept into my mind. This was such a fun day for all of us!!!! But at what price for my James?

I worry for James, but at the same time I trust in the plan God has for him. This gives me comfort beyond words.